Colour-blind Dreams

it’s sooo irritating here…as soon as i open my suitcase to put some little trifle in, everyone offers to help me shut it, thinking that i’m having problems with getting everyone in. What they can’t understand is that i never have problems in getting everything into a suitcase; i don’t want to take everything that is in my wardrobe, i don’t want to take each and every kind of makeup, jewellery, and shoes, i don’t even want to take every book i have! but it’s so frustrating…every suit i take out as not worth taking on the trip, my mother falls in love with it and insists i take it…against all sensible reason…

anyways, just hopped online to write a last, complaining post before i leave. keep it up, all of u…now mom’s screaming…gotta rushhhhh….byeeeee….take care *muah*

Last days of blogging for a month…at least in Lahore, anyway. But there’s been enough talk about Karachi and the sea and the heat too…so no more of that.
Anyways, my little sister is growing up. Of course that’s a fact, we’re all growing every minute, every second. But it seems so strange to me to see that little tyke become taller and taller every day…when I can remember the days she was just a soft little baby still so innocent of the cold, harsh world. She’s not so innocent now, even for a 9 year old, she’s pretty much aware of everything that goes around her. it’s strange but what’s even stranger is that she’s like me in so many ways. She doesn’t resemble me at all, and she’s much smarter than I was in grade 4…I was a pretty stupid kid at age 9, if I remember correctly.
But sometimes it’s so uncanny…it’s almost like watching urself grow up…she has exactly the same reactions to certain events as I did…she speaks phrases which iu can remember speaking at her age…she played with her dolls (she’s too old for them now, according to herself), making up elaborate stories just like I did…and plus, she’s a bookworm. She sits in the exact same posture as my 9 year old self, hunches over her book and doesn’t hear a word of whatever the ppl around her are saying! That’s me to a tee…no more, no less.
It’s like watching urself grow up…now I know how difficult I must have bee with my parents…she’s also got the same perfectionist tendencies as I still do…goes into hysterics when there’s a test tomorrow or the results are coming soon…and becomes almost uncontrollable with worry and tension.
Yeah, that’s me, but she’s getting these symptoms too early for her own good…don’t grow up too fast Eesha…

MSN WILL U CHALLOFY???????????

The monsoons are finally here!!
but it’s not that good out there…almost every road is covered with the dank brown water and it’s almost like Venice…without the boats of course.
so it’s more humid than scorching now…and it’s dangerous too, with all that water causing traffic jams and becoming so deep in parts that the water gets into people’s cars…i’m glad we only recieve the tail-end of the monsoons after they’ve passed over India…wonder how bad it is over there? hey joy, does the sheer vastness of the floods schare u too? because it sure scraes me…one of my greatest fears is drowning in that muddy slush in an overturned car.

i’ve got just too many tasks to do, and i’m not doing any one of them. i’m not reading The Scarlet Letter, not getting any more books recommended for literature students, not packing either.

i just feel so…inferior sometimes, even though i have no solid reason for it. it’s this cousin of mine who writes these great short stories for an international magazine…ufff….her writing’s so impressive…her latest story was apparently inspired by one of Sintatra’s musicals in which ‘people burst into song on every occasion’…i’ll never think of anything as good! and the verses which she flung into the story every time it was apt according to the character’s feelings were simply awesome…i can’t even write any short stories, let alone integrating poetry with them!
it isn’t fair…even though she’s 22, married, and has a kid, she still has time to write, and good stuff at that. i hate it even though i love her.